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Are you feeling out of control?

Are you feeling out of control?

Is your career/business, relationship or life feeling like it is out of control?  Would you like to know how to regain control?

Are You In Control?

Are you in control of your emotions?  When you feel anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt, resentment, betrayal, loneliness, etc. are these emotions in or out of proportion to the personal or professional situation you are in? 

Do you take charge of your thoughts and are they mainly positive or negative?  When a negative thought comes in, do you stop it or entertain it and allow it to spiral into more negative thoughts? 

Are bad habits (e.g. procrastination, distraction, smoking, drinking too much, overeating, etc.) controlling you or are you in charge of only positive behaviours and habits?  Having answered these questions, do you feel like you are in control of yourself or not?

Whom/What Are You Controlling?

Some people who feel out of control themselves, unconsciously seek to control other people.  For example, by getting angry, bullying, creating dramas, buying gifts, etc., they unconsciously create a dynamic where they are in control in that personal or professional relationship.  Other people who feel out of control, unconsciously seek to control things and their environment.  For example, overeating, drinking too much, being obsessed by games, etc.

At the end of the day, these people are ultimately not in control of themselves.  That is the real issue.  Until that is addressed, they will keep creating the same dynamics with people, things and their environment.

Control versus Influence             

You are personally responsible for four things:  how you think, how you feel, how you act and how you influence others.  Other people are also responsible for four things:  how they think, how they feel, how they act and how they influence you and others.

When you start to focus on how you can control what others say, think and do, you are focusing on what is beyond your control.  Because this is beyond your control and you want to control it, you may feel frustrated or angry about the situation e.g. sitting in bumper to bumper traffic and being unable to control the traffic.

Instead, focus on what you can control – changing your thoughts, feelings, actions and communication.  How could you take more charge of how you think, feel and act so that you are happier and more fulfilled both personally and professionally?  How can you improve your communication and avoid misunderstandings and conflict?

Regaining Control

The first thing to realise is that people who trust themselves, trust others and the flow of life. Therefore, they find no need to control other people and situations.  It is only people who have trust issues that feel the need to control others and situations.  These people need to learn to trust themselves first in order to trust others.

Focus on you and taking charge of how you think, feel and act so you regain control of your behaviour and your life.  Address past emotions, limiting beliefs and internal conflicts, so that you can take charge of creating a career/business, relationship and life you truly desire.  Also learn how to be a more effective communicator and leader so you avoid frustrations, misunderstandings and disagreements in your personal and professional relationships.

© Qt, 2000 - 2018.  All Rights Reserved.

Posted by Dr Vesna Grubacevic on 10th August, 2018 | Comments | Trackbacks | Permalink
Tags: nlp career, nlp business, nlp relationships, nlp trust, nlp trust yourself, nlp success, Hypnosis Melbourne, NLP Melbourne, nlp and feeling trapped

The Pursuit of Perfection

The Pursuit of Perfection

Are you dissatisfied regardless of how much you achieve?  Is your work or that of others never good enough?  Do your overly high standards let you down and sabotage your success?  Would you like to put less pressure on yourself to succeed and enjoy life more?

Perfectionism versus Excellence

It is important to differentiate between perfectionism and excellence.  Perfectionism relates to setting extremely high standards and having unrealistic expectations of yourself and of others, and being displeased with anything else. 

While it is good to have high standards, it becomes a problem when the standards are so high that it becomes almost impossible or unrealistic to achieve them.  It is a very good way to set ourselves up for failure.  Despite great successes and achievements, perfectionists will be dissatisfied and will feel that they haven’t done enough.

In contrast, excellence relates to being extremely good and competent at whatever we set out to learn or do.  It is about being the best you can be, continually improving and learning to reach higher levels of performance, and growing as a person.  Excellent people celebrate their successes and acknowledge themselves before setting their next achievable goal.  This acknowledgement, in turn, breeds more success.

Coping Mechanisms

Most perfectionist traits are developed in the first 21 years of a person’s life.  Our interpretation of our environment in the first 21 years of our life (parents, siblings, relatives, school, friends, role models, partners, TV, internet, etc) defines our personality later in life.  Often perfectionist tendencies develop during that time as a coping mechanism for dealing with life’s challenges.  

For example, someone who has had failures or lots of criticism in the past (eg. in school, business, relationships, etc), can develop perfectionist tendencies in order to avoid failure again.  However, this need to have everything perfect can lead to putting too much pressure on yourself to perform, and can result in failure anyway.  

Negative Consequences

As we grow up, those old coping mechanisms may no longer serve us and can adversely affect our personal and professional relationships and success.  Some of these negative consequences include:
  • Procrastination: putting off doing things because they are not perfect
  • Indecision:   difficulty making a decision for fear it will not be perfect
  • Lost opportunities:   missing out on opportunities due to the above
  • Beating up on self:   nothing is ever good enough and they are never being satisfied with their or others’ appearance, successes and achievements
  • Unrealistic expectations: expecting other people to be perfect so they may have conflict in personal and business relationships when other people make mistakes
  • Sabotaging relationships:   no partner is ever good enough so being overly critical of their partner even if their partner does a great job
  • Lack of trust in others:   no one is perfect and never does the job right, therefore they can’t be trusted
  • Too much pressure to perform:   putting too much pressure on self to do even more, resulting in excess stress and potential health problems
  • Lack of happiness in self and in life:   nothing is ever good enough to create happiness within and around them.
From Perfectionism to Excellence

We all have the potential to excel by accessing more of our infinite unconscious resources.  It is only our self doubts, fears and limiting beliefs (including those around perfectionism) that prevent us from fully accessing those infinite resources, and that limit us from excelling.  Once those limitations are addressed, we can transform perfectionism into excellence, and our results and success will improve significantly.  

Importantly, we can then more easily acknowledge and celebrate our successes.  In turn, this will empower us to continue to excel and to grow both personally and professionally. Your can empower yourself today with your free NLP resources.

(c) Qt, 2000 - 2018.  All Rights Reserved.

Posted by Dr Vesna Grubacevic on 13th July, 2018 | Comments | Trackbacks | Permalink
Tags: excellence in nlp and hypnotherapy, nlp and fear, NLP Melbourne, Hypnosis Melbourne, NLP and success, nlp success, nlp trust yourself, nlp confidence, nlp fear of success, nlp procrastination, nlp happiness, nlp perfection

How Limiting Beliefs Limit Career and Business Success

How Limiting Beliefs Limit Career and Business Success

Do you struggle to succeed in your career/business?  Are you underachieving on your KPIs/targets/goals?  Would you like to stop sabotaging your success?

One of the major ways that professionals and business owners sabotage their success is via their limiting beliefs.  

What you believe becomes real

All our behaviours are driven by our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, etc.  If our beliefs (what we know to be true about ourselves and the world around us) are positive (eg. I am a successful person) they support us in creating a successful career/business.  If our beliefs are limiting (eg. I can't trust people) then these can limit our success in career/business and in life.  Whatever you believe, whether positive or negative, becomes real through your behaviour.   This has also been proven via quantum physics.

While many of our beliefs were developed during our childhood, early schooling and early adult life, they can significantly limit our success today.  Therefore, it is important to change any beliefs which limit us today.  Here are a couple of case studies to illustrate the power of limiting beliefs and how they can limit a professional and business owner, until they are addressed.

Case Study 1

A business owner with three retail outlets sought help.  He admitted “I am the biggest procrastinator” and kept putting off a key business decision. He calculated that this procrastination cost him $10,000 per month plus much financial and emotional stress.  While he knew that, he still procrastinated about the decision.  We discovered that he had a limiting belief “I need approval from other people” and because of this belief, he procrastinated on the decision as he waited on approval.  Once we helped him to address this limiting belief, he stopped procrastinating and took action.  This saved him $120,000 each year, dramatically reduced his stress levels and freed up his focus and energy to grow his business.

Case Study 2

A salesperson found herself struggling financially and working really hard to make money in her career.  She was discounting her company’s products and services and panicking about money.  We discovered several limiting beliefs that held her back, including “I am not worthy of success”.  Once these beliefs were addressed she reached her targets for the first time, and started to exceed them within a couple of months.  She also started to attract higher quality clients, her income increased significantly, and she created a much better work life balance.

Identifying limiting beliefs

One way to identify any limiting beliefs is to look at your behaviour because your beliefs are reflected in your behaviour.  Consider all aspects of your career/business (eg. strategy, finance, marketing, sales, operations, people/HR, etc) and look for any patterns that you are unhappy with.  For example, do you find yourself avoiding sales and marketing?  If so, what are your beliefs around sales and marketing and your ability to do these effectively?  For example, one professional I worked with believed that all salespeople are sleazy and therefore avoided selling, which had a hugely detrimental impact on his sales.  

Do you have a pattern of putting off calling late paying customers?  What are your beliefs around doing that?  Another business owner refused to chase up late customer payments which severely affected the cash flow in her business, because of her limiting belief of “I don’t want confrontation”.

Addressing limiting beliefs

Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, it is important to address these so that they stop limiting your career/business success.  Because our beliefs are stored at the unconscious level, the most effective way to address them is by working with the unconscious mind in such a way to address them permanently.  This way the limiting beliefs will stop limiting your success once and for all, and you will be freer to create and maintain the career/business success that you desire.

I look forward to continuing to empower you!

© Qt, 2000 – 2018.   All Rights Reserved.

Posted by Dr Vesna Grubacevic on 19th June, 2018 | Comments | Trackbacks | Permalink
Tags: nlp Melbourne, nlp and beliefs, hypnotherapy and beliefs, nlp procrastination, nlp self promotion, nlp selling, nlp self belief, nlp goals, nlp business, nlp career, stop sabotaging your sales, nlp stop sabotage, nlp success, NLP and success, NLP and sales and influencing, Hypnosis Melbourne, nlp and self sabotage, hypnotherapy Melbourne

Are You Saying “Yes” to Career, Relationship and Life?

Are You Saying “Yes” to Career, Relationship and Life?

Are you half-hearted in your career/business, personal and professional relationships and life?  Tired of watching time and life pass you by?  Do you wish you were more of a go-getter?

I am very excited to share my tips on getting the most out of your relationships, career and life in my recent interview with Cosmopolitan Magazine. You can read the full article “Why We Need to Start Living a Yes Life” on pages 108-109 in the June 2018 issue of the magazine out now.

You can start saying yes to life now by empowering yourself with your free NLP confidence boosting tips and resources.

If you have any questions about how you can stop sabotaging yourself and your success and permanently increase your confidence and success, please email me or post your questions below.

I look forward to continuing to empower you!

© Qt, 2000 – 2018.   All Rights Reserved.

Posted by Dr Vesna Grubacevic on 16th May, 2018 | Comments | Trackbacks | Permalink
Tags: nlp persistence, nlp happiness, nlp confidence, nlp relationships, nlp career, stop sabotaging your confidence, nlp success, Hypnosis Melbourne, NLP Melbourne, nlp and motivation, nlp and commitment

How to Transition to Running Your Successful Business in Helping Others

How to Transition to Running Your Successful Business in Helping Others

Your FREE Ticket to Learn to Grow Your Business!

Join me and 30 other industry experts at the Thriving Wellness Coaches Summit

I have been invited to present as a featured speaker at the Thriving Wellness Coaches Success Summit, and I have a FREE ticket for you

My good friend Rukmini Bonthala is hosting the series, and she’s put together 10 incredible days of interviews with 30+ elite industry experts who have tons of valuable advice to share with you all about how you can grow your wellness business and create the freedom and income you desire!

The experts cover every aspect of business and, on the 15th May 2018, I will be discussing How to Transition to Running Your Successful Wellness Business, and sharing with you proven tips and strategies that you can action right away – these are the same strategies I personally used to successfully transition to my own business over 17 years ago and that hundreds of our clients have used successfully too! 

And more good news - this event is FREE and online so you can enjoy it from the comfort of your own home or office.  To receive your FREE ticket just register here.

I look forward to empowering you there soon!

© Qt, 2000 – 2018.   All Rights Reserved.

Posted by Dr Vesna Grubacevic on 7th May, 2018 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks | Permalink
Tags: nlp and career, hypnotherapy Melbourne, nlp and starting a business, nlp and fulfillment, nlp and goals, NLP and growing a business, Starting a business, NLP and success, nlp success, starting an NLP business, nlp dreams, nlp business, nlp career change, nlp goals, nlp purpose, nlp self esteem, nlp self belief, start your own nlp business, nlp start your own business, nlp Melbourne

3 Sure Fire Ways to Overcome Procrastination

3 Sure Fire Ways to Overcome Procrastination

When was the last time you put off doing something that you said you would do?  Do you drag your feet when it comes to taking certain action or completing some tasks eg. public speaking, writing articles or reports, study, phone calls, paperwork, marketing, networking, starting a business, growing your business, making a business decision, etc.? Would you like to stop procrastinating and, instead, be motivated to take action?

The Cost of Procrastination

Some people have mastered the art of putting off doing certain tasks, despite knowing that they will be worse off for the delay.  Research has shown that around 15% to 20% of adults regularly put off activities that would be better done right away; around 40% of people have experienced a financial loss as a result of procrastination; and procrastinators have higher stress levels and more severe health problems than people who act right away.

Three Ways to Stop Procrastinating

Here are three ways you can now get motivated and stop procrastinating using simple NLP techniques:

1.     Is it what you really want?

Think about the activity you have been putting off and ask yourself: “Is the activity aligned with your life purpose, business vision and goals?  Will it bring you closer to your purpose/vision/goals or steer you in another direction?”  By asking yourself these questions you may find that the activity is not going to help you achieve what you want and you have been putting it off for the right reason.  It is important to then act on that insight.

If the activity is aligned with your purpose/vision/goals, perhaps you needed to see the fit with the big picture before you were motivated enough to do it. When we do things without a big picture context, we can feel unmotivated, see no real reason or benefit for doing it.  Without a clear big picture to give us direction, we can more easily be distracted and procrastinate.

Once you are clear about the big picture, then ensure that you have clear goals with clear commitments and timeframes to help you to achieve your purpose and vision.  In NLP we always ensure that our goals are clear and specific enough, can be measured, are achievable and realistic, create win-wins for all concerned and have a specific time frame.  People with vague goals are almost as unmotivated as those without any goals at all!  Research at Hofstra University demonstrates that procrastinators who had clear intentions and specific commitments to a time were eight times as likely to follow through on the commitment than those without them.

2.     Are you sufficiently motivated?

As you think about the activity that you have been putting off, how motivated do you feel about doing it? Motivation is a feeling, so do you actually feel motivated as you think about the activity or not?  Do you feel other positive emotions (eg. confidence, passion, determination, etc.) or negative emotions (eg. resentment, guilt, shame, anger, etc) as you think about doing it?  

It is difficult to put off doing things that you feel motivated to do.  To get yourself into a motivated frame of mind, here is an NLP technique to help you.  Think about the last time you were really motivated to do anything eg. go on a holiday, complete a fun task, etc.  As you think about that time of being motivated right now, recall the thoughts you had at the time, the images that come to mind, any sounds and the feelings of motivation.  Once you are in that motivated frame of mind, you will be more motivated to do any other activity.  This is because any time we think about something that motivates us, we feel motivated.

3.     What meaning do you give it?

What meaning do you give to the activity that you have been putting off?  Do you imagine it as being boring or fun?  Do you imagine that it will take forever or be quick?  Do you imagine that you will be able to do it easily or worry that you will stumble or get stuck?  If you imagine positives around that activity, you will be more motivated than if you imagine the negatives.  

For some procrastinators, anticipation of the task is often far worse than what the task turns out to be.  Are you anticipating the task turning out well or not?  By visualising the activity being a success, you will be much more motivated to take action. In NLP, we always focus on success as you will attract whatever you focus on - success or failure.

Imagine how much more productive, fulfilled and successful you could be in your business and in life once you master motivation and put off procrastination!   Begin today with your FREE NLP resources.

© Qt, 2000 – 2018.   All Rights Reserved.

Posted by Dr Vesna Grubacevic on 23rd April, 2018 | Comments | Trackbacks | Permalink
Tags: nlp procrastination, nlp master time, nlp habits, nlp persistence, nlp purpose, nlp fear of success, nlp confidence, nlp fear of change, nlp distractions, reduce stress with nlp, the comfort zone, nlp time management, nlp success, nlp stress, Hypnosis Melbourne, NLP Melbourne, nlp and motivation, hypnotherapy Melbourne

© Qt, 2000 – 2013. All Rights Reserved.
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