When was the last time you had a misunderstanding or a disagreement with someone, either personally or professionally? How much did that misunderstanding or miscommunication cost you in lost time, effort, energy, rework, duplication or a soured relationship?
Here are five ways to stop the misunderstandings and improve your personal and professional communication and relationships:
1. Build instant rapport – Instantly create a feeling of trust and familiarity with anyone you meet, within seconds of meeting them. A simple way to do this is to observe, then to subtly match or copy their posture ie. how they sit or stand. This will allow the rest of your communication to be that much more effective. Remember that people who are like each other, like each other!
2. Really listen – When we are caught up with all the thoughts inside our head we can miss out on really hearing what others say to us. This can lead to misunderstandings in our communication and false assumptions about the other person. Instead, shift the focus from your internal dialogue (that little voice inside your head) and really listen, hear and focus your attention on what the other person is saying.
3. Respect the other person’s model of the world - Each one of us has different experiences, memories, values and beliefs and these determine how we respond and react to situations and the world around us. Respecting each others’ model of the world enables us to see the other person’s point of view, and helps to avoid disagreements and miscommunication. Rather than disagreeing about whose views are right or wrong, focus on understanding the other person’s perspective first. This will make an agreement easier to achieve.
4. Use appropriate words – Tailor the language you use to the other person. There are four major communication styles: visual (pictures), auditory (sounds), kinesthetic (feelings) and auditory digital (self talk), and each style uses specific words. Most people use a combination of communication styles and some have a strong preference for one or two styles. By identifying and utilising their preferred communication style with them, they will clearly see, easily get in touch with and understand what you are saying.
5. Chunk your information appropriately– Some people need a lot of detail before they can proceed with a task or make a decision, while others simply need to be told the big picture. Give too much information to a big picture person, and their eyes may glaze over and their thoughts may drift off to other things. Leave out information for a detail person and they may not be interested in doing a task, not know how to do it or may even ask many questions in order to get the detail they need.
Flexibility is the key. I believe that the meaning of communication is the response you get. So if your communication is not being received the way you intend it, be flexible and adapt to the style and preferences of the other person. This will assist your message to be clearly understood each time.
Would you like to stop negativity and self-doubt and have greater confidence and self-esteem? Are you your own worst critic or very good at beating up on yourself? Is everything you do never good enough? Does looking at your reflection in the mirror upset you? Do you wish you could stop sabotaging your confidence and success once and for all?
I am very excited to share my six steps to self-confidence in my recent interview with The Australian Women’s Weekly Magazine. You can read the full article “The Confidence Key” on pages 86-89 in the September 2017 issue of the magazine out now, and discover how to silence the negative self talk and the six steps to a more confident you.
You can also stop sabotaging your confidence and success, and boost your confidence and self-esteem by:
I am incredibly excited that copies of my new book have just arrived from the publisher, all the way from the UK. Last month I shared the news with you about being the co-author of the new book, Game Changers: Innovation in Business. Game Changers: Innovation in Business showcases excellence in innovation across a range of ground-breaking products and services. The thought leaders profiled in this book have successfully managed to enter new markets faster and deeper by viewing gaps in the market as an opportunity to satisfy customer needs as well as accelerate top line revenue growth.
Game Changers: Innovation in Business tells the inspiring real-life stories behind business, product, technology and service innovations while recognising the often-unsung experts who help shape them.
I am thrilled and honoured to be among the 18 thought leaders and entrepreneurs profiled in this book. My chapter “How to Master the Innovation Mindset” outlinesthe mindset and behavioural changes that you and your team can make to fast track your ideas, innovations and business growth. At Qt, we embody this mindset and behaviours, which have also helped us to help our clients and ourselves win innovation and other awards, including being named the 2017 ACQ5 Global Award winner “Australia – Gamechanger of the Year".
Does work-life balance elude you? Is work-life balance possible for you? Would you like to have more time for the things and people that are important to you?
I was honoured to be invited as a Monash Alumni, to be a part of the panel of speakers at the recent Alumni Mentoring Leadership event, to inspire current Monash students with advice on work-life balance. It brought back memories walking past the Robert Menzies Building and lecture theatres where I had most of my Economics and Econometrics lectures (as part of my first degree).
Following this event, I thought I would share some of my thoughts on work-life balance with my followers too.
What is Work Life Balance?
Work life balance is a vague notion which means different things to different people. Rather than defining work life balance for you, I prefer that you think about what work life balance means to you. For example, at the above Monash Alumni event I shared what work-life balance means to me – being clear about my priorities in life and then making time for the things and people that are important to me.
Think about what work life balance means to you:
What are your priorities in life right now?
Who are the people you wish to spend more time with personally?
Who are the people you wish to spend less time with personally?
Who are the people you wish to spend more time with professionally?
Who are the people you wish to spend less time with professionally?
Which goals are important for you to achieve this year, next year, etc?
What activities or hobbies do you enjoy and wish to spend more time enjoying?
What activities do you wish to spend less time doing?
Is it possible for you to make the above changes?
If not, what prevents you from making those changes?
What distractions are you allowing to get in the way of your desired balance?
How to Regain Balance
Your answers to the above questions will help define what work-life balance means to you. Then once you have this clarity, you can determine if you now have the balance you seek. If not, you can manage your time to make sure that you spend your time on the priorities that are important to you, and less time on the rest. You decide who to spend time with, how much time, what you do with your time and how much you enjoy what you do. Then you may need to make some decisions in your life to ensure that you have the balance you seek.
This is exactly what I did when I transitioned from working for a major financial institution to running my own company in 2000. That decision to transition was the best decision as it has helped me to create the life and balance that I enjoy. Think about any decisions you may need to make to create the balance you seek.
Because our priorities can change over time, it is important to review the above to make sure that the way you spend your time reflects your current priorities. You will also know it is time to review balance when you pay attention to the warning signs. Some of these may include:
Not wanting to go to work when you are normally motivated (this was my warning sign to transition)
Feeling exhausted or emotionally drained when you usually have energy
Little or insignificant things stress you, frustrate you, annoy you
The fire/spark in your belly goes out
Feeling unhappy or dissatisfied about life/work/relationships/health
Regretting missing out on things that once you had time for
Resenting doing things that you used to enjoy
Resenting people in your life/at work
Pay attention to the early warning signs and act upon them right away. If you leave them unaddressed for too long it may cause additional stress or other challenges.
Here are some free NLP resources to help you with getting clarity, your desired balance and success. You are also welcome to post your questions below or email me for a confidential reply.
Are you lacking happiness in your career, relationships or in life? Does happiness keep eluding you regardless of what you do? Would you like to stop seeking happiness and live a happy life?
Many people seek happiness, yet why do they fail to find it? I am regularly asked to help people to be happy in their career/business, relationships and life. Based on my experience in working with thousands of people, below are some thoughts to assist you…
The Top 3 Ways that Most People Sabotage their Happiness
1. They are unclear about what happiness is
Happiness is a positive feeling – a state of contentment. Different people experience happiness at different times. Some people feel happy spending time with their family, others feel it while engaging in a hobby, passion or fun activity, while helping others or simply by being grateful in the moment, etc.
You may have already experienced happiness, yet because you had no way of “measuring” it, it eluded you. It is difficult to know when you have achieved or experienced something if you never put in place a way of knowing when you have it. It is also difficult to find something that you are vague about. Your brain is made to look for specifics – it needs detail so it knows what to focus on so that you can obtain it.
Here are a few questions to help you get clear about what happiness is for you:
What safe experiences have you had in the past where you felt truly happy?
How did you know you felt truly happy? What did you see, hear, feel, taste, smell or tell yourself at the time?
How could you have similar and safe experiences again to feel that happiness more often?
2. They wait for something they can experience now
Many people wait to be happy. They wait for “something” to happen so that they are happy – yet they are unclear about that “something” or how to get there. The goal posts are never defined so it is hard to experience or achieve (as explained above).
Worse still, they compare their life with an ideal/perfect happy moment. They fail to recognise the moments of happiness along the way because they focus too much on the perfect/ideal happy moment that will happen one day. Instead, be grateful for the happy moments each day/week and the sum total of these will build into a series of happy memories, and a more consistent feeling of happiness.
The good news is that you can feel happy now! Because our memories have emotions attached to them, you can feel happiness any time you think of a past happy memory. So there is no need to wait to feel happy because you can feel that emotion right now if you wish. If you have ever felt happy before at any time in your past (e.g. a wedding, birth of baby, any celebration, holiday, a success, etc.) you can feel happy again. Simply think about that time now and you will feel the happiness you felt at that time (unless the third reason below gets in the way).
3. They are disconnected from the moment
Some people are so disconnected that they fail to be fully present and to experience the emotions they feel in the moment. They are distracting themselves from feeling emotions and being happy. Other people are unable to feel positive emotions easily because of their negative emotions, limiting beliefs, self doubts, traumatic experiences, etc. For example, they have too much anger, hurt, resentment, sadness, trauma, fear, grief, depression and other negative emotions preventing them from feeling happy.
Alternatively, they may have limiting beliefs such as “I don’t deserve to be happy” so they deny themselves happiness because of that belief – that belief becomes self-fulfilling and, therefore, they sabotage their happiness.
The World Happiness Report 2017 notes that “Variations in levels of happiness can be explained by economic factors (such as income and employment), social factors (such as education and family life), and health (mental and physical). Mental health explains more of the variance of happiness than income does.” This is what I have observed in working with clients – regardless of economic and social factors, mental and emotional health is a significant contributor to your happiness. After all, happiness is a state of mind.
How to be Truly Happy
To be truly happy, here is a suggested action plan to help you:
1. Define what happiness is to you 2. Decide on how you will know when you feel happy 3. Do things that make you feel happy – enjoy and be in the moment to feel the happiness 4. Give yourself permission to feel happy now 5. Address any negative emotions, limiting beliefs, self doubts, traumas, etc. that sabotage your happiness so can more easily and consistently experience happiness
Looking forward to continuing to empower you. Reference: World Happiness Report 2017 Editors: John Helliwell, Richard Layard and Jeffrey Sachs Associate Editors: Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, Haifang Huang and Shun Wang
We are thrilled to share more exciting news with our wonderful community. Qt and Dr Vesna Grubacevic just received two more global awards:
Qt was named the 2017 ACQ5 Global Award winner “Australia – Strategic Business Advisory Company of the Year”
Dr Vesna was named the 2017 ACQ5 Global Award winner “Australia – Gamechanger of the Year"
Jake Robson, Group Editor of the ACQ5 notes that “the 12th Annual ACQ5 Global Awards honour the leading deal teams, firms and professionals whose activities set the standard for our markets. This year, companies and individuals, representing every major market in the world, became finalists for the awards.”
ACQ5 Global Awards cover global categories, best-in-class awards in all regions in over 100 countries around the world. Robson continues, “the 2017 ACQ5 Global Award winners represent the best of breed in all industry sectors and have earned these honours by standing out in a group of very impressive finalists.” Award winners are chosen by their readership and a record-breaking 83,121 nominations were received this year.
“Voters were encouraged to base their decisions on addressing professionalism: experience, value for money & responsiveness in order for ACQ to derive a numerical rating from 1 – 5. In that sense, this poll should be considered a reflection of how professionals view any practice, individual or related sector supplier in terms of overall quality of service. Only nominees receiving an average 4-star rating or above achieved a short-list status.”
Congratulations to all the other award winners and a very grateful thank you to all our wonderful clients, Qt team, network of colleagues and ACQ team and the readers/voters for this honour. Your incredible support drives us to continue to excel in supporting you.
I am incredibly excited to let you know that I am the co-author of the new book, Game Changers: Innovation in Business. Game Changers: Innovation in Business showcases excellence in innovation across a range of ground-breaking products and services. The thought leaders profiled in this book have successfully managed to enter new markets faster and deeper by viewing gaps in the market as an opportunity to satisfy customer needs as well as accelerate top line revenue growth. Game Changers: Innovation in Business tells the inspiring real-life stories behind business, product, technology and service innovations while recognising the often-unsung experts who help shape them.
I am thrilled and honoured to be among the 18 thought leaders and entrepreneurs profiled in this book. My chapter “How to Master the Innovation Mindset” outlinesthe mindset and behavioural changes that you and your team can make to fast track your ideas, innovations and business growth. At Qt, we embody this mindset and behaviours, which have also helped us to help our clients and ourselves to innovate, and win innovation and other awards.
The 2017 Australian Enterprise Awards recognise and reward the outstanding accomplishments made by those businesses that are changing the game in their respected industry with their innovative thinking. This award recognises Qt’s performance over the past 12 months and our commitment to innovation, and our innovative techniques and programs.
A big thank you to all our wonderful clients, Qt team, network of colleagues and the award industry partners and judges for this honour – this exciting award is only possible because of your incredible support. With gratitude…
Do you feel frustrated and wish you could grow your business faster? Is self-sabotage preventing you from securing enough clients, income and business opportunities? Would you like to master the mindset and skills for greater motivation, confidence, goal achievement and business success?
Enjoy watching the video below and discover how one of our highly successful clients mastered his mindset and skills to grow his business, and is now helping even more people to live financially independent and happier lives.
For more tips on developing the mindset and skills to successfully grow your business:
Get What You Want with Confidence … in the Bedroom!
Get What You Want with Confidence … in the Bedroom!
Effectively initiating romance, doing things differently and communicating your desires all requires self-assurance. Here is how..
I was recently asked to share my confidence tips for the fabulous Fashion Weekly’s Winter issue. You can read the full article “Get What You Want. Lacking Confidence in the Bedroom?” on pages 92-93 in the magazine’s 50th birthday celebration issue out now. The UKs number 1 Reality Star, Charlotte Crosby graces the cover of this inspiration packed issue.
For more support on how to have even more confidence to ask for what you really want, both in your personal and professional relationships: