Welcome to our Transformational Success Story where I personally interview one of our very successful clients, Anna. She was born in China and raised in a traditional Chinese family with strict upbringings, and came to Australia for further education at the age of 23 and decided to never go back. Anna has been living in Australia for 11 years now and works as a full time accountant in the financial services industry. She skydives as a hobby on the weekend, also loves reading, writing, travelling and music. Anna has a cat to keep her company at home, and a boyfriend who skydives for a living.
You have had significant successes recently Anna, please you tell us about your transformation.
I was referred to Dr Vesna by a close friend who is also a client of hers. For as long as I can remember I’ve been having issues related to anxiety, stress management, low confidence and self worth. Most of my problems stemmed from experiences during my childhood/teenage years in a completely different cultural/social environment and were never properly addressed. They kept building up to the point where my health was starting to take on the negative impacts. In the mean time I have also developed some more recent bad habits of excessive spending and procrastination on getting things done, both as a direct derivative from anxiety.
I had a 45 minute phone call with Dr Vesna before our first face to face consultation. And she was able to surprise me within that initial 45 minutes over the phone. I finished our phone conversation feeling a lot more relaxed, energetic and positive than when I picked up my phone, and I was very impressed. After the first session of history examination, I was given a guarantee of result in six hours. I was doubtful, naturally, at that point, as I know that all my problems originated a long way back, and I have tried for years in futile to resolve them. However as soon as our second session I started to see it’s already working. It was an intense and marvellous process that returns immediate clean results, and I was both exhausted and stunned by the end of it. And it’s the same feeling for every session after that. The magic simply doesn’t stop! Before I had time to catch a breath all the roots of my problems were cut off, and we were onto specific plans of attacking my expense control and time management.
Meanwhile I was seeing a boost of productivity and efficiency at work. I was getting tremendous amount of work done. I was speaking up to my boss and colleagues without hesitation about my workload when I felt overwhelmed. I was speaking openly and frankly about what my real thoughts and feelings were to my friends and family, which had previously always been a challenge for me for all my life. I was feeling upbeat. The same situations that used to always trigger a chain reaction of feelings in me and throw me into immediate anxiety and stress – the chain reaction was now gone, just like that. I was now able to evaluate the scenario itself, and not be distracted and overwhelmed by all the branches and twigs of my own worries and bad memories and imaginations. And because of that, I was able to make much better, wiser and quicker decisions, which in turn reduced my stress and anxiety caused by inappropriate or delayed decisions. Not only have I seen the change, but the change has now put me into a benevolent cycle that keeps improving itself.
By the time of our last session I was already 80% through my massive house decluttering project which I’d been delaying and hence aggravated for years. I had already started a specific and practical budget plan and seen it working after the first month.
What were the biggest challenges you needed to overcome to get to where you are now?
Building up new habits. A lot of the techniques that I have learnt from Dr Vesna involved building small things into my daily routine. At first it can be a challenge as the new things are not yet part of your habit, you are not familiar with the technique, it doesn’t feel natural and you keep forgetting it. It was really important to keep reminding myself of what I have learnt to do at certain time or in certain scenarios. You start to harvest the good result upon first try; but it’s really only after a few times in a row you start to get the hang of it and all the new techniques become more natural to you, and the results become quicker and better, and that’s when they finally start to become part of your habit/routine. It does take a bit of awareness and effort to get there but it’s totally worth it.
To what extent has working with Qt helped you to transform your relationships, career and life?
One of the major concerns I had before I started the journey was how drastic the change would be; as our relationships with everything is based on what/who we are, I did not want to lose that identity and become a different person.
And that has not happened at all. I did not feel any change in my personal identity or my character. I am still the same me, I still have all my memories. I still have the same job, hobbies, colleagues, friends and family. I still love the same people and same things I still feel passionate about what I love. I still have the same life and nothing has been changed. And yet I feel a lot calmer and more relaxed about all my situations. I feel a lot more comfortable in telling people what I think and how I feel. I still have all my memories but they no longer trigger anxiety or stress or other negative reactions in me. I feel a lot more “present”, and I’m a lot more looking forward rather than backwards, and that makes me feel in general more content, happy and hopeful.
And that has in turn affected people around me, probably without them even noticing. I now feel in control of my relationships with other people as I no longer have to guess what they are thinking and also have them second guessing me. My relationships with everyone are definitely a lot more honest, open and stable. And positivity and calmness are contagious as well. I can see with my own eyes how being a happy, positive and productive myself has not only rewarded myself, but also made people around me feel more positive and cheerful, which then improves the relationships of everyone.
It’s really made me realise that life is indeed a mirror; you smile at it, it smiles back. You throw knives at it, the knives will bounce back. It’s your choice.
How has transforming your thinking impacted on your success?
I have always been a high achiever at work. My major hindrance was anxiety and stress management, and confidence in speaking up. I have worked across several different companies and been through some highly stressful and culturally toxic environments, came out of the other end with promotions and pay rises and an impaired health. I was always able to perform and achieve, but I could see for myself that my way of achieving and performing under stress is neither healthy nor sustainable.
While working with Dr Vesna, I started to notice that I have become more focused at work and was able to pin down my issues. When I felt overwhelmed by workload and difficult to cope, I was able to have a well structured honest conversation with my colleagues and my boss to reassess expectations and resolve all the issues I had. When things got hot I was able to quickly sort myself out of chaos and stop panic attacks from happening. I became calmer, more organised and less stressed, all of which further enhanced my productivity and in turn reduced my workload and stress even further.
I’ve also learnt the skills to build a practical and motivating plan to attack every problem I have in life. My spending has significantly reduced, my budget is going on track and my house is clean again. My life used to be a pot of chaos brewing out of control before I went to see Vesna. Now I’m feeling back in control. What has been the biggest change for you? Has the change been a lasting one?
The biggest change would have been that I’m now able to speak up for myself, tell people what I really think and how I really feel. I had always had problem speaking up and telling people my mind in fear of being unintendedly disrespectful or being judged for what I say. It’s always caused excessive stress in me in trying to evaluate what impact it might have by saying what’s on my mind, second guessing what reaction people might have, what’s on people’s mind. I used to always hear my own critics before I opened my mouth and as a result I seldom spoke at all. This has changed since I started seeing Dr Vesna. Now I am still me – I still think about what I have to say, but I have stopped stressing over what other people might think or react; I control what I can control, and I speak my mind.
It’s been a month now since my last session with Vesna. And the last time I speak up and tell people what I really think was this morning. I am enjoying this change, it makes me feel a lot less burdened and yes I think this change is here to stay.
Having now made this change, what do you now enjoy most about life?
The feeling that I am now in total control of what I should say or do, and how to say or do it. That in turn gives me feeling of being in control of my life. I am still mindful of other people’s feelings and aware of the consequences and impact of my own words and actions. But I’ve stopped worrying/stressing out about what’s beyond my control – what I used to stress out about all the time. I have stopped lying and in doing that, all stress associated with lying has vanished from my life. Life has been feeling very peaceful and calm since the change happened, and it’s not because I have excluded myself from my normal work/social/family activities and responsibilities or stopped interacting with people.
Nothing really has changed but my mindset; I’m seeing things differently now. I no longer feel like a lost soul taking command and control from everything outside me and unable to meet requirements and expectations set by people/standards outside of me. I am now living my life for myself, making real meaningful interactions with people, making things happen for my life, and feeling happy and content on any average day. And all my relationships have improved because of that. I am now very comfortable about speaking up and be open and honest with people at work, we are a strong team of independent efficient experts who help each other out.
I have got closer with my boyfriend now that we’ve both learnt to trust each other, be open and honest and share with each other all our achievements and our problems in a timely manner. I have opened up about my needs and pushed back on the social demands from a few friends that I was not able to satisfy, and they have realised that some of the things are not what I want and have quickly adapted to give me more personal space.
How would you sum up your transformation?
It was surprisingly quick and smooth, and yet deep and long lasting. I experienced minimal to nil disrupt to my normal daily life, all I needed to do was putt in a tiny bit of effort to build up new habits. Once habits are in place the rest come along naturally. The sessions were all very intense but very revealing. Many times I was wondering what has just happened when the biggest change has just been done already. It was certainly an amazing and rewarding journey with Dr Vesna and on top of that, those sessions were fun!