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NLP Melbourne | NLP | doormat
Are You A Doormat?

by Dr. Vesna Grubacevic


Do you let your partner, family, friends and work colleagues walk all over you?  Are other people taking advantage of your kind giving nature?  Is it time you stopped bending over backwards to please others?  Tired of being a pushover?

How important are you?


Other people treat you the way you treat yourself.  Think about how important you are in your life:
  •   Do you put yourself first or do you put others’ needs before your own?
  •   Do you feel guilty if you do something for yourself?
  •   Would you move heaven and earth to help others, yet you neglect yourself?
  •   When was the last time you did something nice for yourself?
  •   Are you constantly giving to your partner, family and friends, yet rarely receive in return?
  •   Do you feel resentful or unappreciated for how your partner, family, friends and work colleagues treat you?
  •   Do you love yourself or are you constantly putting yourself down and judging yourself?
How important you are in your life is a reflection of your values and beliefs.  Values determine our priorities, what motivates us and what is important to us, and, therefore how we spend our time.  If you place yourself as a low value/priority in your life, you will spend little time doing things for yourself.  

Your beliefs also play a key role in how you treat yourself, and therefore, how others treat you in return.  For example, if you believe that you are not important in your life, then you will demonstrate that to others through your behaviour.  This in turn, will be how they treat you.   If you are constantly doing things to please others, this also reflects your beliefs eg. fear of rejection, fear of being alone, not being accepted, not being good enough, etc.

The Past is The Past


Most of our past fears, self doubts, limiting beliefs and values are developed in the first twenty one years of our life, many of which are formed in the first seven years of our life.  While the past can influence our actions and how we treat ourselves now, the past is the past and can be changed.  

It is empowering to learn from the past and then to let it go.  That is how we can set ourselves free to be who we want to be, and have our partner, family, friends and work colleagues treat us how we wish to be treated.

Take a Stand for Yourself


Stop being a doormat and start turning this dynamic around by taking a stand for yourself right now.  Make a congruent decision that from now on you will make yourself a priority.  Think about one thing you could do today to demonstrate to yourself that you are a priority in your life.  Then do it!  This in turn will show your partner, family, friends and work colleagues that you make yourself a priority, which will help them to see you in a different light and to treat you differently.  

For example, could you make time to do something that you have meaning to do for a while, and that you have talked about and never actioned?  Could you show others your commitment to yourself by following through on what you say you will do for yourself?  Imagine how empowered you will feel doing something you really want to do for yourself and making yourself a priority.
 

Read about how one of our inspirational clients took a stand for herself.

How to stop being a doormat once and for all, and transform your relationships and your life!

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