Stop Telling Me What to Do
Are you tired of being told what to do by your business partner, colleagues, team or associates? Have you ever wondered why some of your business colleagues and associates are so bossy and come across as controlling, while others let you have the freedom to do what you want to do?
A Difference of Style
You have probably noticed that you get along well with some business colleagues, associates and team members. However, there may be others whom you find challenging to relate to because they are different to you. It is these differences in style that can create conflict in our business relationships, and our business success.
When our style is the same as that of our business colleagues, associates and team members, we naturally get along. When our style is different to those of our business colleagues, associates and team members, then there is potential for conflict especially when we are unaware of what drives the difference in style. Rather than thinking that your business associates, colleagues and team members are being controlling or bossy, learn to understand your style and theirs to avoid future conflict.
Differences in style can be driven by many different things and at least by sixty different personality traits. One of these traits relates to how we relate to people in groups, and there are three different preferences that a person can have when relating to their business associates, colleagues and team members:
A business associate, colleague or team member with this preference will be the one organising business events and projects. They will be the one initiating projects and events, often delegating tasks to others.
Put two people with this style together in a business and each one will want to take charge rather than do the work ie. two chiefs and no Indians. If there are only management styles in a business, they will all be telling each other what to do and nothing may get done. To avoid conflict, someone in the business will need to take a back seat occasionally, while another person takes charge.
People with this preference will rarely lead or take charge of organising events or business projects. They will tend to follow, enjoy being part of a group and prefer to collaborate and work together as a team.
Put two people of this style together in a business and they may do a lot of collaboration, yet may lack clear direction or outcomes. If everyone in the team or business has this style, there may not be anyone in charge of co-ordinating an event or project. To avoid conflict, lots of talk with little action or projects going off track, always have someone in charge.
People with this style like to do things on their own and prefer to act independently. They like to work on their own projects rather than things involving other people. They don’t take direction well. When told to do things, they may get annoyed.
If there are two independent styles together in a team or business, they may not spend enough time working together, not see each other or speak that often and be quite happy to do their own thing. Other members of the team or business many find this disinterest in spending time with them as rude or arrogant. To avoid conflict, the independent style person needs to occasionally spend time with the team, and others need to give this person time to be on their own and do their own thing occasionally.
Working with the differences
It is important to be aware of and to respect the different styles amongst your team, business associates and colleagues. Start to observe their language and behaviour and notice which style they prefer when relating to you and others. Then next time you are told what to do by your business associate, colleague or team member, remember it is how they relate to other people. Avoid taking it personally or over reacting to them. Respect the differences in style and notice how this impacts positively on your business relationships and business success.