Avoid Conflict and Create Harmony
When was the last time you had a disagreement, misunderstanding or conflict with your friend, partner, family member, colleague, manager or customer? Do you find yourself getting stressed, frustrated, angry, upset or anxious when you communicate with other people?
Why is effective communication so important?
Effective communication improves harmony between people and creates greater synergy in any personal or professional relationship. In addition, effective communication reduces errors, rework and blame, and helps us to be more productive. Research has also shown that anytime we have a pleasant experience it increases our immune system, while an unpleasant experience can reduce our immune system. So by making our communication more pleasant without stress, anxiety, frustration, hurt or anger, we are also having a positive impact on our productivity as well as our health and overall wellbeing.
Below is a simple and effective communication technique that will assist you with clearly communicating your message to your friends, partner, family members, colleagues, manager and customers.
Respecting the differences
Often when we speak with other people we find ourselves saying the same thing, only in a different way because we use different words. By understanding the different personalities in your personal and professional relationships, you can stop conflict and create harmony instead. One simple and effective way to achieve this is to understand how your friends, partner, family members, colleagues, manager and customers communicate.
There are four different styles of communication: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Auditory Digital. While most people use a combination of all these communication styles, each person has a preference for one or two styles over the others. Importantly, each communication style has its own “language”.
Words that appeal to people with a:
- visual preference include: see and look
- auditory preference include: hear and listen
- kinesthetic preference include: feel and touch
- auditory digital preference include: think and study.
Conflict often occurs when people use their own preferences when communicating, and when the preferences of the two people are different. For example, if one person uses Auditory digital words (think, study) and the other person uses kinesthetic words (feel, touch). The person with an auditory digital preference may complain that the person with a kinesthetic preference takes too long to express their feelings, and may wish that they just get to the point quickly.
The person with a kinesthetic preference may complain that the other person never makes time to connect with them and their feelings, and may, as a result, feel left out, neglected or disconnected. This could result in the person with a kinesthetic preference withdrawing their connection, and could sour the relationship. In turn, this could spiral into a disempowering dynamic between the two people, and all because of a difference of communication style. This is a common issue I come across when assisting individuals, couples, teams, professionals, managers and leaders, and one which is so easy to address.
In any personal or professional relationship, when you tailor the words you use to match the other person’s preferred communication style, this will greatly assist them to understand what you are saying and will help to avoid disagreements. Practice this and notice the difference this makes to your communication and to your personal and professional relationships.
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