I’m Just Not Over You
by Dr. Vesna Grubacevic
Have you recently broken up with your partner or had a fallout with a friend, family member or colleague? Do you find yourself unable to move on? Are you constantly thinking about the relationship that just ended? Is it time to let go of the past and make room for new more empowering relationships?
Are you still holding on?
Here are some signs to tell you that you may still be holding onto those past relationships. Take a moment now to honestly consider the following:
- I read over their recent emails and SMSs hoping to find answers for the break up/where things went wrong
- I still send them text messages and emails hoping to save the relationship
- I still read their Facebook, Twitter, etc posts and updates in the hope that they mention something about me or our relationship
- I hold onto hope that the relationship will continue when they have made it perfectly clear that it is 100% over
- I sit by the phone waiting for them to call
- I visit the same restaurants and places I used to frequent with them hoping to run into them
- I call our mutual friends probing for information about what they are up to now/what they are saying about me
- I purposefully go to parties/events where I know I will run into them
- I think about them most of the day, easily get distracted by thoughts of them or fester over what has happened and get emotional
If you answered “yes” to at least two of the above or you have done one of the above at least twice, pay attention to that.
If you are really serious about moving on and attracting and creating your ideal relationships with a partner, family, friends and colleagues, start now. Stop dwelling on the past relationship, because to the extent that you still hold onto past relationships, you will block your energy from attracting and creating the relationships you do want. Alternatively, you will keep attracting the same types of people with the same behaviours until you fully let go of those past relationships.
Be Ready to Learn
You have attracted these people into your life for a purpose – to help you to learn about yourself. Did you do some things in the past relationship that had you compromise yourself? Did you allow those people to treat you in ways that you wish you never had allowed? Are you regretting how you reacted or behaved towards these people? Could you have done things differently to make the relationship succeed? Has your fear of being alone, hurt, rejected or abandoned attracted exactly that? Did your insecurities and emotional dramas push these people away?
What can you learn about yourself from this situation? How could you have acted, spoken and thought differently so that your relationship with these people could have been different? By the way, you are also these people’s teacher and there to teach them about themselves.
Make room for the new
Is it time to let go of the past and make room for new more empowering relationships? Before you can attract new relationships, you first need to let go of all the past relationships by decluttering your mind from negative emotions, limiting beliefs, internal confusion, negative self talk and disempowering behaviours. Because to the extent that you still have old thought patterns, these will come in and distract, confuse or compromise your thinking and, therefore, your behaviour in your current and future relationships. By learning from the situation now you will avoid repeating the same lessons in your current and future relationships.
Learn what you need to learn from your ex-partner/friend/family/colleague, let go of what has happened in the past, and make room for the relationships you desire… because you deserve it!