Spring Clean Your Relationships

by Dr. Vesna Grubacevic

Most people spring clean their home and/or office at this time of year.  Have you thought about also spring cleaning your relationships to make room for new more empowering ones?

Who Is In Your Life?

Firstly, look at who is in your life.  Consider all your ex’s. To what extent is your anger, hurt, resentment, rejection and betrayal from your past relationships holding you back from having a new more empowering relationship?  Next consider your current partner, family and friends.  Is your partner cluttering up your focus by being negative?  Do your family and friends drain you of energy with their constant complaining? Are your “buttons” being pushed by your partner, family or friends? Do other people treat you with love, respect and appreciation?

Before you start to exit your current partner, family, friends and colleagues from your life, take a close look at yourself and ask yourself, “How do I change my mindset and behaviours so I attract the people I want personally and professionally?”.

Below you will find five ways to spring clean your own mindset first, before you spring clean your relationships: 

1.       Let go of past fears, hurts and self doubts

Declutter your mind from past emotions (eg. hurt, anger, fear, rejection, betrayal, guilt, etc) and self doubts (eg. not good enough, fear of failure/success, being judged, fear of being alone, etc).  The more your mind is cluttered with these and your past relationships, the more you will keep recreating the same patterns and dynamics with your current and future partner, family and friends.  In turn, you will keep attracting disempowering personal and professional relationship dynamics and this will prevent you from having the relationships you truly desire.

2.       Forgive and remember the lesson

Is there a partner, family member, friend, colleague or manager who has wronged you in the past and whom you have not forgiven?  By holding onto lack of forgiveness you are only hurting yourself.  When you forgive, you learn from the situation rather than forget about it.  Then you will be free to create more empowering, loving and appreciative relationships based on the present, instead of being dragged into the past and recreating the same negative personal and professional relationships now and in the future.

3.       Stop beating up on yourself

Most people are really good at beating up on themselves and regardless of how much they have achieved, they find fault.  Your self-talk can be your best friend or a saboteur.  Learn to become your own best friend and start rewarding yourself for both the smallest and big achievements each day.   If you want your partner, family, friends, colleagues and manger to be more supportive and appreciate towards you, first you need to treat yourself that way.

4.       Banish anxiety and negativity

Because you get what you focus on, if you continue to focus on what you don’t want, you will keep attracting it.  By visualising exactly what you want each day, you program your mind to attract more positive people, situations and opportunities into your life.  Like attracts like.  If you want to attract a more positive partner, family, friends, colleagues or mananger, ensure that you are positive first!

5.       Turn Confusion into Clarity of Direction

Without clarity there can be confusion and lots of purposeless action.  Not knowing what you really want leads to scattered thinking and results in scattered action.  Instead, create a clear vision for your life (and where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years, etc) and then set short term and long term goals to help you get there.  When you know where you are going, your communication will be clearer and other people will be able to support you in achieving your personal and professional goals.

Once you spring clean your mindset, you will change the unconscious signals you send to your partner, family, friends, colleagues and partner.  This will help you to spring clean your past and current relationships, to transform the disempowering relationship dynamics into empowering ones, and to more easily create the relationships you desire with the people in your life. 

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